$5.00 for less that 19 oz of your beverage? I buy crack for less than that, and let me tell you - that shit gives you wings. Speaking of Wings - you remember that TV show? That was pretty good, no? I always thought that blonde chick was pretty hot. Helen was it? That's an okay name. Helen. I may name my daughter that. Or at least my cat. Have you seen my cat. He's a beast! Black and sleek and sexy. His pee smells sometimes, though. I feel bad for the
lady when she stops by. I think she's too nice to mention it, but I can tell
she smells it. That and my shitty-ass farts. But you know what - I don't really
care. My flatulence is no longer my problem - it's those behind me.. it's their
problem! Fools. But who can blame them? It's like death. You think my dead
grandma watches over me? I can't, for the life of me, fathom the logistics of
heaven. God can't possibly oversee everyone and their petty prayers for new
shoes. I once sold a pair of used shoes on eBay. Got like $9. I could have
bought nearly two 19 ouncers for that, but not quite. Do you sell by the sip
ever? That might be a good business decision. Put your crappy beverage on tap.
God bless. Oh, send me some coupons from .
Or is it Germany ?
XXXX NE XXth Ave.
Fort Lauderdale, FL XXXXX
That was definitely the most entertaining email I've read in a while! Glad to hear your gassy issue has subsided!
I would send you some coupons if I had them, but Red Bull doesn't do coupons. Why? Well, paper cuts for one. They can be really painful. No, but in all seriousness, retail stores set the price - so if there are deals, they would be at the store directly.
But here's a little something you might find helpful: if you buy Red Bull by the case, it's cheaper than buying it by the can. You can pick up a case of 24 cans at your local retailer or membership club.
Oh, and before I forget, there is something I can offer you. If you and your buddies need some wiiings, just hit me back with your full name and addy (not a P.O. box). I'll see if I can put together a little something from us..
Thanks for being such a fan!