Monday, October 21, 2013

Chock Full O' Nuts - Just One of My Vices

THE LETTER

Coffee! I drink it. I like it. I want it. There are very few out there that need it more than me. There is a homeless dude in front of the Burger King who holds a sign that states simply, "I need coffee." He might want it slightly more than me. I give him money. I hope he buys coffee with it, and not Miami hookers or South American crank. Speaking of which - besides my addiction to coffee, I am addicted to Miami hookers and South American crank. I can't afford all three. And Chock Full o' Nuts, being a corporation, is therefore my the most likely target for my forthcoming inquiry - how about you find it in your hearts and hook me up with some coupons? I'm so broke, I actually owe Miranda (not 100% certain that is her real name) $16 from our last session. My address is:
XXXXXXX
XXXX SW XX Ct.
Fort Lauderdale, FL XXXXX
Peace.

THE RESPONSE

Dear Mr. XXXXX,
 
Thank you for taking the time to contact Massimo Zanetti Beverage Company.
 
Thanks for your interest in our coffee, and we're happy to send you a
coupon to use!  With the information you have provided, I will be sending
this soon.
 
Try smartsource.com and redplum.com for occasional coupons.  Look also for
our occasional coupons in the Sunday paper coupon inserts, too.  Coffee
(and everything else) has gone up so much and coupons are a real blessing.
 
We value our customers and hope that you will continue to use and enjoy
our products. Again, thank you for contacting Massimo Zanetti Beverage; we
greatly appreciate your loyalty to our coffee.
 
Sincerely,
 
XXXXXXXXX
Consumer Response Center

Massimo Zanetti Beverage