tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38426814399374104112024-02-08T02:31:44.763-08:00The Coupon Requests BlogRead along as we try to charm or complain ourselves into free stuff from corporations big and small. Names may be changed to protect the innocent. Can you really catch more flies with honey than vinegar? Read on to find out!Francis Ledbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263566562841237004noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842681439937410411.post-55339699096398650232013-12-01T08:55:00.000-08:002013-12-01T08:55:21.669-08:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: red;"><b>THE LETTER</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dearest Alpo,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where can I find monkey food? I've gone to Publix, Wal-Mart,
PetSmart, and even a few local SMB pet stores, but to no avail. My monkey be
hungry! Surely I can't be the only monkey owner in <st1:place>South Florida</st1:place>?
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A search of your website comes up empty, too. He's (she's? -
how do I tell?) getting tired of <a href="http://www.squirreljunkie.com/is_that_a_banana.htm#.UptpgsRDua8" target="_blank">bananners</a>.
It, I'll call it "it"... it has flung yellow monkey poo all
over my house. It likes cat food, but then my mountain lion gets mad. Last week
I fed it Chinese food, but then the damn Chinaman in my bathroom complains. I
haven't tried dog food yet - but only because I can't bring a dog in the house.
The monkey always tries to tag it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have no monkey food, might it be possible to send
some bird my way - or at the very least, coupons for Alpo so I can afford to
feed the children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Peace,</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
XXXX XXXXXX</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="color: red;">THE RESPONSE</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<pre style="background-color: white;"><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8pt;">Thank you for contacting the Nestlé Purina
PetCare Company. We always welcome questions and comments from our consumers.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8pt;">We continue to offer coupons, as well as
promotional offers. From time to time, you may see these offers in or on our
product packaging, in newspapers and magazines, or on our web sites, such as<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.purina.com/coupons">www.purina.com/coupons</a>. Also,
please note that occasionally, coupons are randomly inserted in our product
packaging. We appreciate your interest in our coupons and hope you can take
advantage of these coupon offers.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8pt;">Again, thank you for contacting Nestlé Purina
PetCare Company.</span></div>
</pre>
Francis Ledbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263566562841237004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842681439937410411.post-74755158675769774402013-10-21T08:38:00.000-07:002013-10-21T08:38:25.729-07:00Chock Full O' Nuts - Just One of My Vices<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: red;"><b>THE LETTER</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Coffee! I drink it. I like it. I want it. There are very few
out there that need it more than me. There is a homeless dude in front of the
Burger King who holds a sign that states simply, "I need coffee." He
might want it slightly more than me. I give him money. I hope he buys coffee
with it, and not <st1:city>Miami</st1:city> hookers or
South American crank. Speaking of which - besides my addiction to coffee, I am
addicted to <st1:city>Miami</st1:city> hookers and South
American crank. I can't afford all three. And Chock Full o' Nuts, being a corporation,
is therefore my the most likely target for my forthcoming inquiry - how about
you find it in your hearts and hook me up with some coupons? I'm so broke, I
actually owe Miranda (not 100% certain that is her real name) $16 from our last
session. My address is:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
XXXXXXX</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:street>XXXX SW XX Ct.</st1:street></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:place><st1:city>Fort Lauderdale</st1:city>, <st1:state>FL</st1:state> XXXXX</st1:place></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="color: red;">THE RESPONSE</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="color: red;"><br /></b></div>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Dear Mr. XXXXX,<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Thank you for taking the time to contact Massimo Zanetti Beverage Company.<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Thanks for your interest in our coffee, and we're happy to send you a<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">coupon to use! With the information you have provided, I will be sending<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">this soon.<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Try smartsource.com and redplum.com for occasional coupons. Look also for<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">our occasional coupons in the Sunday paper coupon inserts, too. Coffee<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">(and everything else) has gone up so much and coupons are a real blessing.<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">We value our customers and hope that you will continue to use and enjoy<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">our products. Again, thank you for contacting Massimo Zanetti Beverage; we<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">greatly appreciate your loyalty to our coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Sincerely,</span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">XXXXXXXXX<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<pre style="background: white;"><st1:place><st1:placename><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Consumer</span></st1:placename><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span><st1:placename><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Response</span></st1:placename><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"> </span><st1:placetype><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Center</span></st1:placetype></st1:place><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></pre>
<br />
<pre style="background: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;">Massimo Zanetti Beverage<o:p></o:p></span></pre>
Francis Ledbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263566562841237004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842681439937410411.post-28199229092122479112013-10-12T10:42:00.000-07:002013-10-12T10:42:53.740-07:00Red Bull gives you Wiiings (and Free Stuff!!!)<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9pt;"><b><span style="color: red;">THE LETTER</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">$5.00 for less that 19 oz of your beverage? I buy
crack for less than that, and let me tell you - that shit gives you wings.
Speaking of Wings - you remember that TV show? That was pretty good, no?
I always thought that blonde chick was pretty hot. Helen was it? That's an okay
name. Helen. I may name my daughter that. Or at least my cat. Have you seen my
cat. He's a beast! Black and sleek and sexy. His pee smells sometimes, though.
I feel bad for the </span><st1:place><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">Avon</span></st1:place><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">
lady when she stops by. I think she's too nice to mention it, but I can tell
she smells it. That and my shitty-ass farts. But you know what - I don't really
care. My flatulence is no longer my problem - it's those behind me.. it's their
problem! Fools. But who can blame them? It's like death. You think my dead
grandma watches over me? I can't, for the life of me, fathom the logistics of
heaven. God can't possibly oversee everyone and their petty prayers for new
shoes. I once sold a pair of used shoes on eBay. Got like $9. I could have
bought nearly two 19 ouncers for that, but not quite. Do you sell by the sip
ever? That might be a good business decision. Put your crappy beverage on tap.
God bless. Oh, send me some coupons from </span><st1:country-region><st1:place><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">Germany</span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">.
Or is it </span><st1:country-region><st1:place><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">Austria</span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">?
Peace,</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Francis</span><br />
</span><st1:address><st1:street><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">XXXX NE XXth Ave.</span></span></st1:street><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><br />
</span><st1:city><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">Fort Lauderdale</span></span></st1:city><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">, </span></span><st1:state><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">FL</span></span></st1:state><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"> </span></span><st1:postalcode><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;">XXXXX</span></span></st1:postalcode></st1:address></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:address><st1:postalcode><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><br /></span></span></st1:postalcode></st1:address></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:address><st1:postalcode><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9pt;"><b><span style="color: red;">THE RESPONSE</span></b></span></span></st1:postalcode></st1:address></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:address><st1:postalcode><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><br /></span></span></st1:postalcode></st1:address></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<st1:address><st1:postalcode><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background: white; color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-size: 9pt;">Hi
Francis,</span><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><br />
<br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">That was definitely the most entertaining email
I've read in a while! Glad to hear your gassy issue has subsided!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">I would send you some coupons if I had them, but<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="yshortcuts">Red Bull</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>doesn't do coupons. Why? Well, paper
cuts for one. They can be really painful. No, but in all seriousness, retail
stores set the price - so if there are deals, they would be at the store
directly.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">But here's a little something you might find
helpful: if you buy Red Bull by the case, it's cheaper than buying it by the
can. You can pick up a case of 24 cans at your local retailer or membership
club.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Oh, and before I forget, there is something I
can offer you. If you and your buddies need some wiiings, just hit me back with
your full name and addy (not a P.O. box). I'll see if I can put together a
little something from us..</span><br />
<br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Thanks for being such a fan!</span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 9pt;">XXXXX</span><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Red Bull</span><br />
<span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">Twitter: @RedBull</span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><a href="http://www.redbullusa.com/" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #2862c5; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9pt;">www.redbullusa.com</span></span></a></span><span style="font-size: 9pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span></span></span></st1:postalcode></st1:address></div>
Francis Ledbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263566562841237004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842681439937410411.post-46623670996592722152013-10-12T10:05:00.000-07:002013-10-12T10:06:49.564-07:00Budweiser and the Breakfast Beer suggestion<b><span style="color: red;">THE LETTER</span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Two words - breakfast beer. Why not? Screw coffee and orange
juice. Gatorade now has a morning beverage. Fast food joints are pushing their
breakfast menu big time. The a.m. market is a goldmine! And beer makers need
their share of the profit. And I'm not talking about a lame 'Blue Moon' type
beer where some loser throws in an orange and calls it breakfast - I say make
it twice as potent. After all, what better way to start your day than with some
liquid courage to get you through the sales meeting. Why let Kahlua or Jameson
or Bloody Mary mixers corner the market on breakfast beverage tomfoolery -
beer is better. Toss in some minerals, vitamins, and a bacon aroma and you'll
truly be the 'King of Beers.' Imagine - increased sales, thus creating jobs,
thus boosting the economy, thus saving the world - in that order! Don't let the
conservative fruitcakes dictate your marketing efforts. Breakfast beer. I
repeat - breakfast beer. Has a nice ring to it, no? Speaking of a nice ring to
it - "Happy Hour - </span><st1:time hour="7" minute="0"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">7am - 10am</span></st1:time><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">". Wow. That
brought me chills.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">I'm here for you, Budweiser! Although, maybe my intentions
are to make me feel less guilty about my tall boy and Cheerios routine every
morning. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Ok - I gave you the best thing since sliced bread - now hook
me up with some coupons!<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Peace and happiness,<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Francis Ledbetter</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><st1:address><st1:street><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">XXXX NE XXth Ave.</span></st1:street><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><st1:city><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Fort Lauderdale</span></st1:city><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">, </span><st1:state><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">FL</span></st1:state><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"> </span><st1:postalcode><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">XXXXX</span></st1:postalcode></st1:address><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><b><span style="color: red;">THE RESPONSE</span></b></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hello
Francis,</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Thanks
for getting in touch. I really appreciate you stopping by the site and
sharing your suggestion with us.</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
just wanted to shoot you a quick note and let you know that we did receive your
e-mail. I have forwarded it to the correct group for review. <span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Also, we quite a few ideas on a daily
basis. Please understand that not all of them can be implemented or
used. Our company sets our strategic direction months in advance, and
therefore some ideas (even good ones) may not work with where we’re headed.
</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Thanks
again for getting in touch, Francis. I wish you all the best and hope
that you’ll enjoy the crisp, clean taste of an ice-cold<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="yshortcuts">Budweiser</span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>sometime soon! Please let me
know if there is ever anything I can do for you in the future.</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">XXX</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">Your
Friend at Budweiser</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">1-800-DIAL-</span><st1:stockticker><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;">BUD</span></st1:stockticker><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"> (1-800-342-5283)</span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="yiv209248433msonormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<u><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.budweiser.com/" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts"><span style="color: #606420; font-family: "Times New Roman";">www.budweiser.com</span></span></a></span></u><span style="color: #454545; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Francis Ledbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263566562841237004noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842681439937410411.post-89194078900554346022013-10-10T17:21:00.000-07:002013-10-10T17:21:04.896-07:00Fulmer Helmets (My first ever corporate letter)<b><span style="color: red;">THE LETTER:</span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Fulmer Helmets,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I have recently purchased my first motorcycle helmet, which
I’m proud to say is a black Fulmer Modus AF-M.
It is a very fine helmet. It’s
ultra comfortable, which was my prime objective in my quest for head
safety. And the Fulmer Modus AF-M helmet
is superior in coziness, enabling me to wear it all the time. Even when I’m sleeping. You see, my girlfriend goes into spastic,
violent behaviors while asleep, oftentimes kicking and punching me in the face,
throat, chest and groin. She, we’ll call
her Maria, has recently been diagnosed with the parasomnia entitled Rapid Eye
Movement Behavior Disorder (RBD). RBD occurs when Maria acts out dramatic
and/or violent dreams during rapid eye movement (REM) stage sleep. First described in medical literature in
1986, RBD, or sleep terror, can involve yelling, screaming, punching, and
kicking in the night.</div>
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Needless to say, I am pleased with the cranial protection my
Fulmer Modus AF-M helmet has provided under times of duress. I no longer awake to a series of punishing
blows to my eye sockets, rather now I awake to a shrieking cry of agony – on
her behalf! For now she is the one in
pain, due to swollen knuckles and split finger joints, because after repeated
vicious attacks to the hard, unforgiving plastic of my Fulmer AF-M helmet. I hope, over time, she will eventually learn
to awake before the fifth or sixth jab so that the damage won’t take such
severe toll on her delicate fingers. On
the bright side, however, she at least has the presence of mind to remove her
rings before falling asleep, therefore avoiding scratches and dents to my
Fulmer AF-M helmet surface. </div>
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Lastly, does Fulmer Helmets also provide any comfortable
groin protection? As it stands, I sleep
with my back to Maria so as to avoid sudden and jarring knees to my scrotum;
and as an added measure of security, I shackle her feet together upon hearing
the first snore of the eve, signaling the onset of her heavy sleep
pattern. However, it would be nice to
spoon again, like we did years ago, before the onset of her RBD. If groin protection is available, I believe
the romance could reign in our bedroom once again! If a catalog is available, please forward it
to the address below.</div>
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Sincere and many thanks,</div>
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Greg XXXXXX</div>
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<st1:street>XXXX Magazine St</st1:street>.</div>
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#X</div>
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<st1:place><st1:city>New Orleans</st1:city>, <st1:state>LA</st1:state> <st1:postalcode>70130</st1:postalcode></st1:place></div>
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<b><span style="color: red;">THE RESPONSE:</span></b></div>
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Hi Greg,</div>
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That is the wildest catalog request I have EVER had! Your catalog is in the mail today. You might try the helmet box for your groin
protection - or better yet - another Fulmer helmet available in Xtra Small
(Just kidding!)</div>
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Thanks for the smiles and I wish the best for you and
Maria. Perhaps a good surprise present
for her would be a pair of soft boxing gloves to wear to bed (to protect her hands!)</div>
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XXXXX X.</div>
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Customer Service Specialist</div>
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www.fulmerhelmets.com</div>
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800-467-2400xXXX</div>
Francis Ledbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10263566562841237004noreply@blogger.com0